"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
