What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I believe in your delicious
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
