wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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