Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
