doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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