Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
someone owes me an orgasm
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
