Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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