oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
