ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
