Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
