the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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