Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
