i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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