Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
In other news, I just burned my penis
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
