Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
