I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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