Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
