I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
