Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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