take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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