we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
