Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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