i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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