Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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