Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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