They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
