Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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