I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
