Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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