Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
