your room smells of hookers.
And success
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
