Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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