My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
she was so not down for the gang bang
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
