his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
