I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
