Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
