Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
