didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Watching her eat just hurts me
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
