And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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