Are we in a gay sports bar?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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