Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
