I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just had sex on a roof
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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