Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
