I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
