If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
