I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
