So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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