So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
