i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
