Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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