we made out on top of his cat.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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