Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
