Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
