This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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