Non-Jews are for practice
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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