You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
