It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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