whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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