It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
