Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Cover your peen. We're going out.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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