How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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